Nightmares

December 14, 2007 at 3:47 pm · Filed under blogs, dreams, hate, life, memories, struggle and tagged: dreams, hate, life, memories, struggle

What the hell.  You know why after 17 years I am now having nightmares again.  what has triggered this?  i want him out of my thoughts.  the smell is revolting, i can smell it, i can taste it in my mouth again, why after all this time i cannot let go?  i feel so ashamed. I feel dirty. dont touch me. dont talk to me. i might cry.  but these nightmares have got to STOP.  how do you make them go away? i do not understand why i can still hear those haunting words in my ears.  i remember how i felt, i feel as if i am 18 again.  christ. MAKE IT FUCKING STOP. Ambien does not work!!!!! I still dream……….

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